Skipped school yesterday!

Happy I did because there was only 1 read-from-notes lecture by a lecturer who sounded so boring I think he bored himself sometimes.

Not worth the effort travelling to school since I’m feeling unwell (physically, emotionally, psychologically. Hahaha)

So I reckoned it was a good day to finally make my way down to Tanjong Katong to repair my cello and change a new set of strings. I’ve been procrastinating it for the longest time…

Not very proud of that.

 

Felt good just being surrounded by pianos :) They look magnificent by themselves! :) Brilliant invention :)

Tools!!! 0.0

Cradling my baby Charles :)

I like him! Nice fellow to talk to :) We happen to share the same birth date too :)

Found out that there are just about 3-4 repairmen in Singapore.

Very happy with the result! I love the new strings too! :)

And there is no excuse not to play better now……………

 

Hmmm. I think it’s also high time to tune my piano now… My tuner took 1.5 hours to tune mine last year cos I didn’t tune it for years haha.

Tsk…

 

~~~

My angling is really bad

@ School’s McDonald’s

Planning for our July holiday trip to Taiwan!!! I really hope we are able to go! We need more vacations seriously.

Let’s not go into schoolwork… It’s driving all of us crazy.

Everyone’s so tired in school now. Boo.

My gastrointestinal system has been cranky lately… That I feel nauseous after every meal I take.

What’s going on inside of me? :(

It’s not something unfamiliar though… I get that whenever I’m overwhelmed by things, particularly schoolwork.

School has started and we are all flooded with impending tests and assignments to submit.

Plus my music theory exam is in < 3 weeks’ time.

Sometimes… I think maybe it’s good to be sick? At least there is a valid reason not to do anything and just rest without the guilt. And perhaps it’s just the body’s way of forcing us to take a break.

Ha, this coming from a nurse…  -_-

I think I am a very blessed girl! :)

Thanks to everyone who made my birthday such a touching and memorable one :), really appreciate all the effort my friends put into… :’)

Birthdays are not a very big deal for me, it is perhaps a good day to reflect back on our journey and see how far we have come? Or how far we are to achieving our dreams.

I believe everyone has a purpose here on Earth, is what we are doing in line with that? Otherwise, stop doing things aimlessly and start doing what you have always wanted to do!

Life is too short to waste on things you dislike doing. Eww cliche. But true. :)

 

 

On my birthday, I thanked God for taking care of me and protecting me for the past 23 years + 9 months and for placing so many wonderful people in my life to help and encourage me on my way.

Indeed God knows all our needs. :)
Knowing Him is the best thing that happened in my life.

I also remembered my big brother… The one whom I never had the chance to know… But I know he’s watching over me. =’)

 

 

So much for now… Gotta START writing a 500-essay about my view on the importation of foreigners into Singapore… Asset or liability?

I think it’s generally an asset, though of course some of their social behaviours put people off.  -_-

It has been the best week of 2010!!!

I am so blessed and touched to be reunited with my extended family members and my best of friends. :)

I wouldn’t trade anything for that!

School work takes a step back this week though it’s constantly screaming for my attention. It’s gonna be extremely tough when school starts next Monday.

I’m scared now as I think about it…

 

To digress…

I like this pic cos of my big foot! Hahaha.

This is Jeff my godbro! We’ve known each other since I was about 15 years old… So in his impression, I’m always this 16/17 year-old girl.  -_-

One night I had a dream that he was attached, so I asked him and TRUE enough, he just got attached. And now he’s happily married to her! =)

He likes this pic cos it’s sketchy = my face is unclear = looks nicer.  -_-Hahaha.

@ his house! Had a surprise celebration hahaha… This must have been the most surprising one ever, maybe cos I kept forgetting it was actually my birthday since it coincided with CNY and like I mentioned, there’re many other things screaming for my attention… Boo.

Anyway, we were talking about our lives and stuff and I mentioned about my Psychology CAs which is just 5 days apart from each other and how crazy is that blabla…

And he said one sentence which struck me…

“You can one la if you put your heart into it.”

It might appear like a casual/cliche statement but it actually made me reflect. I thought back on the things I actually put my heart into doing.

I always think that I have really bad memory? But there was once I really put my heart into learning a Bach piano piece and I can still remember every note now… (Cos it’s the piece I used to prove myself wrong with.)

And how I put my heart into studying/memorising for my very FIRST test in university and got among the highest… I remember the test was the day after Jeff’s wedding.

I think it’s a matter of how much a person wants a thing? If you want it bad enough, you can actually have it? Hmmm…

Like if you want to live long enough to see a family member for one last time, you can actually hold on to your dear life even as Death beckons you?

I’m fascinated by the human willpower. I don’t know where that comes from… Is it in us all along? Does it surface only when our relentless determination forces it to?

 

 

 

Anyway, the tragic thing is that subsequently, I became complacent/lazy/”attitude” and I stopped having the desire to want to score well (for various reasons)? And my grades plummeted in ways you cannot imagine. =X

It is bad considering it was only after my FIRST test.

=/ 

Just wrote about “comparison of a human being with another” but I didn’t post it. Haha.

Comparison is really a mean thing to do.

I came up with an analogy many years ago about it.

Think about balls.

There are a thousand kind of balls.

Ranging from a pinball, pingpong, golf ball, basketball…

Fishball, meatball, sotongball… Lol.

They are all BALLS but very different balls.

 

Is a tennis ball better than a basketball?

How do you answer that? How can anyone compare 2 different things of 2 different purposes???

A tennis ball works best being hit by a tennis racket on the tennis court. A sensible person will not replace a basketball for that.

Likewise, it is 100x easier to run while bouncing a basketball than doing the same with a tennis ball.

 

Common sense conclusion:

1) We are all human beings.
2) With very different purposes and abilities.
3) So there really isn’t any basis to compare on.

 

Therefore, people should stop comparing because it doesn’t make sense! And worse still, it might have detrimental effect on a person’s self-esteem and mindset about himself.

Please refute if you want.

 

~~~

 

That aside!

I love this year’s CNY celebration with my maternal family!!!  It was really encouraging that they were so supportive of me doing nursing and music. :)

But as usual they are hoping I could get a doctor as a boyfriend or something…… –_- What’s so good about doctors actually.

My aunt warned me about “pervertic” doctors too! It’s not something unusual. Working in the healthcare industry is extremely (quality of) life-threatening.

My grandma was quite cute, she went on to “assess” me and commented that I have a “nurse” look and others which I won’t say. All well though, but I don’t like to be scrutinised!!! Hahaha.

She’s quite concerned that the majority of her grandchildren are not attached yet!!! Lol…

 

The following pictures are CLASSIC. It never fail to make me LAUGH hahaha.

This is my youngest cousin, Edward, playing with the hairdryer.

Prior to this, he wanted to “shoot” me with it. Lol…

 

PRICELESS expression!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

If he sees this 10 years later, he’d probably kill me! But he laughed too! =P

Picture of the year!!!!! =P

It was an awesome reunion with my relatives! I love being in their company, my aunties and uncles are such funny people!!!

My cousin and her doggie!
She is the same age as me so we grew up together for our first 10 years of our lives, :) Combining our Polly Pockets and hopping from playground to playground!!! :)

We went to the same kindergarten and primary school and were taken care of by the same nanny too. :)

 

Us with our youngest cousins (9 and  11) who couldn’t stop talking! Lol…

 

The entire house was filled with noisy chatters and laughter, it was heartwarming being in the presence of people who saw me grew up. :)

Anyway,

Happy CNY everyone!!!
And a happy Valentine’s day too!!!

May your days be filled with love and warmth from the people around you! :)

THANK GOD IT’S THE END OF FRIDAY! 

Surviving through this week is a victory in itself. My brain seriously needs some rest and quality sleep. I am feeling the mental lethargic effect.

“A mind of its own” has new meaning now! It sucks when you can’t even control your own mind. Mine has been over-stimulated recently by the continual generation of thoughts and questions.

Even as I lay on bed, mentally exhausted and ‘urgently’ needed to sleep, it just wouldn’t stop thinking. Maybe I’m subconsciously worried about something or plainly stressed out?

I think of the most random questions like

“What is the difference between visualisation, imagination and a fantasy???”

It seems that "visualisation" has a more positive connotation to it, like thinking of something 'sensible'. Whereas a "fantasy" might imply an irrational thought.

However, essentially, thoughts are boundless and I think that all 3 mean the same!

How can one mark the 'cut-off' point of being rational or irrational... And why do we often hear things like "Stop fantasizing" when everything that we do first starts off as a thought? Is it more "wrong" to fantasize than to visualise???

Never underestimate the power of one thought.

The more you think about something, the more you veer your life towards it, and your entire course of life changes.

 

~~~~~~~

 

My mind raised another question too.

“If a person talks ill about his own race, does that make him a racist? And will he be charged?”

Racial differences is an extremely sensitive topic to talk about in Singapore, especially so due to our many racial conflicts in the past.

It is not uncommon for people to be charged for making rude remarks about another race which might exacerbate the ever-present racial tension, which is just below the surface, barely covered and very fragile.

So what would make of my above question???

Will talking ill about a person’s own race cause racial tension??? I believe to a certain extent yes.

It is even more convincing for another race to hear it from the horse’s mouth and confirm every pre/misconception he has for that race.

And in the long run, IF racial conflicts arose, he has more reasons to be against that race.

Therefore a person who speaks ill of his own race is insidiously building up negative impressions in the minds of other races and hence might indirectly aggravate future racial conflicts (if any).

Just my 2-cent worth of thoughts.

What do you think??? I’d love having a discussion/debate anytime.

 

~~~~~~

 

Speaking of which…

I did a group presentation for politics tutorial today. Early in the morning at 10am!!!

Topic was

“Was PAP’s single-minded aim of ensuring Singapore’s survival at all costs responsible for the eventual separation from Malaysia in August 1965?”

We touched on the economic, political and social aspects. I took social as I’m not very familiar with the other 2.

I talked about how LKY wanted a “Malaysian Malaysia” but Tunku wanted special rights for the Malays.

Man… I was nervous. Firstly cos I don’t think I’m really good in speaking? Worse in a group of about 25.  Secondly, there were many way outspoken and knowledgeable students in it who actually majored in History kinda fields.

And the last thing I wanna do was to screw up my group result since it was determined by the rest of the students.

But all well in the end!!! They thought that the points about racial tensions and economy were good :) and overall presentation was “commendable” hahaha.

Phewwwwww…..

Definitely worth losing sleep over for the past 2 nights. :) Glad it’s over. :)

Till then…

This week is daunting. Fully packed days from Monday to Friday! I need to stop and take a deep breath!

And frankly speaking, I’m overwhelmed.

By the present. And the future.

It seems like my entire year has already been planned out.

February – CNY, assignments.
March – Assignments, music theory exam
April – End of Semester exams
May – Attachment
June – Attachment
July – Precious little holiday.
August – Orchestra concert, school
September – Piano exam
November – End of Semester exams
December – Attachment, Christmas

+ weekly piano lessons and orchestra practices + church and cell group meetings through the year.

I’m afraid  I’ll end up screwing everything. It’s like putting all the eggs in one basket?

Then again, last year was similar. Though of course now I’m in Year 2, my music grade is higher, orchestra is playing more difficult pieces and attachment is longer by 3 weeks.

 

I feel better now after listing everything. At least I know I’m being stretched because I am going to places I have never been. I feel the resistance as I more forward, breaking those walls in front of me.

And I know that God will not bring me to a place where He knows I can’t handle. :) And I know that no matter how many times I fall, He will pick me up and we will continue this race together. As always.

Time spent at home (or rather in my room) is too precious… There are just too many things to do even at home.

It takes a lot out of me to go out of my house sometimes and that is a big issue concerning my unpunctuality. Sigh…

And whenever I’m out, I hate wasting time because of the thought that I could use that time more productively at home, like practising on my instruments while I’m still energized.

However, when I’m home in my room with my instruments < 1m from me, I can’t touch them due to schoolwork or simply reaching home too late. It is like dangling a carrot in front of me.

The feeling is horrible and depressing.

 

I love Saturdays because it’s my only free day. I’d definitely like to stay at home if not for spending time with my closer friends or family. I love their presence :)

 

Brief meet-up with MengChing and KaiLin today @ SoupSpoon again :)

Then I had to meet Dad for his company dinner @ Grand Copthorne

He went around introducing me to his colleagues and it was quite nice to just tag along without the need to entertain. =P

This, as I had just learnt, is called a “Tea VASE” as said by a waitress. It is quite an unusual term but it made sense after a while. :)

 

Ok I’m feeling emoo and kinda disappointed with myself this week. I could have practised and studied more instead of idling around. *shrug*

It was an eventful Friday! :)

I like eventful days, somehow I feel more useful… Or rather more productive.

I’m finally working on my first exam piece, hope it’s not too late. It’s by J.C.E. Bach, J.S Bach’s 2nd youngest son. :)

I like Bach :) Though many of his pieces are in running notes which seem to go on and on, there is something captivating about that. It makes you take a second listen.

It’s hard to get sick of his music even after hearing it 100 times :)

 

 

Recently I noticed a significant increase in the people I know getting ATTACHED. Maybe it’s the start-of-the-year kinda thing???

Or maybe I’m actually at THE age already?

Erm, yea definitely hahaha.

My mum was married at my age. I just can’t imagine myself in her shoes haha.

In any case, I believe we shouldn’t be pressurized in any way to rush into making such an important decision in life. I mean what’s the hurry when eventually both of you are going to spend a lifetime together?

Patience is the key!!! :)

 

Sigh… And maybe I should stop fantasizing.

Though much of what I am doing now is what I 'fantasized' many years ago.

Maybe it’s different when it involves another human being…?

Shrug.

I think someone/myself accidentally threw away my music theory notes and past exam papers which I have done. How can I survive without it??? At least for the next 1 month before my exam.

Registration for piano exam starts next week. I’m going to register for the September one, which is the latest month for exam. Orchestra is having a public concert beginning of August too.

On top of that, I have a 7-week attachment until end of June.

Honestly I don’t know if I can manage. =/ Hmmm… Actually, I’m doubting.

But I’ll certainly not give up music for SCHOOL. Music is a lifetime investment… It goes with me till my dying days.

Whereas school is just a passing phase. Most of us forget what we learn anyway.

However, there is another side to it, that since it’s a passing phase, it only happens once in a lifetime and we gotta make the best out of it. Reasonable.

Take note that the word “best” is subjective and is a variable. :)

 

 

There are just too many inner conflicts in my mind.

Well, it was just a go-through-the-motion day. What’s new?

The only thing I did differently today was – I have finally tried YAMI YOGHURT. Haha.

I wanted “Honeydew” but it was sold out. “Peachie” too… –_- What a bad first experience. They could have put a sign or something to indicate???

So I ordered “Winter Melon” which has quite an awful first taste but got better subsequently, so I was fine. :)

Bumped into a friend and she commented that I’ve slimmed down, that was what Emma told me yesterday too! *Beams*

However, I looked into the mirror and was not convinced… =/ I don’t even exercise now.

But well, it is probably due to my loss of appetite? When I wake up in the morning, food is not one of the first thing on my mind now (usually it is. =P)

And also probably due to my timetable which is nicely planned such that breaks in between lessons are minimised. :)

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Whatever is it, school is kinda plain now. People are acting strange and I am not motivated to study at all. To think that I used to love studying when I was younger… But somehow along the way I just lost it.

(Btw studying does not = learning.)

I must admit that I am never a hardworking person and complacency is a big issue for me. That’s probably why I’m better in subjects which doesn’t have a definite answer and doesn’t require much memorising. :)

I love those subjects. Think along GP, literature and stuff like that…

After all, you can always find definite answers in textbooks, why the need to memorise?

 

*shrug*

Can someone give me a good reason???????????????????????

With a sensible rationale, I think my grades are more likely to improve. It is because I can’t see the reason behind doing something, which causes such reluctance to do it.

This has always been on of my biggest mental conflict.  It’s agonising.

 

On the other hand, I am happy with my relationship with my cello now though. :) I look forward to practising after school each night :) My teacher must be happy to know this haha.

Reason is simple.

I practise, and actually see the result. This acts as a super positive reinforcement which makes me wanna improve more.

And I’m not practising for any exams or to please anyone. It is just a pure desire to want to improve just because. There is no string attached and the only pressure comes from myself.

 

This is such a huge irony, certainly a field of study psychologists might be interested in. I will willingly be a research participant anytime, in hope that they might be able to come up with a solution and revolutionalise the entire education system.

(Participated in 2 Psychology researches today… And more to come! Because they made it compulsory.)

Recently I have been practising the cello more than the piano. Cello is much more fun actually, though of course more technically demanding and frustrating.

It is just strange…

Yesterday, I had an offer to play in a string trio in a wedding for about $xxx/hour. That’s great news! I hope the timing doesn’t clash.

And today, a friend asked if I could play for a yearly nursing event in school. I think it’d be real fun to play together with my fellow schoolmates! I like our cohort. :)

When I think back, I’m amazed in the way things actually line up.

I guess when we sow our little seed of (whatever) talent and keep watering it, God will eventually multiply our little seed and open more doors for us.

I’m in awe of how God works as I trace back on my journey with the cello… And the people and opportunities He put in along the way to make that journey possible.

It never fails to touch me and bring tears to my eyes.

 

It is a ongoing journey for as long as I can still live and function…

Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning amidst the many mountains in life.

And at times, my vision is impeded and I loss track of my direction –  what am I practising for? Where will this eventually lead me to?

 

As clueless as I still am, I just want to be a good steward of this little seed that God has placed in my hands, and with that, to glorify His name in big and small ways.

 

 

P/S: The above pictures were taken at Lake Toba, Indonesia! :) Thankfully the fog cleared shortly after we arrived, to unravel its magnificent beauty. :)

My schedule is kinda packed now, and will be worse as weeks go by.

But I’m not complaining! I love this semester due to “Psychology”, “Medical Sociology” and “Government and Politics of Singapore” modules.

I love the tutorials! I actually have to think now. I love Arts modules. They are interactive, boundless and creative. I have the opportunity to learn together with the non-Science students and engaged in discussions which opened my mind to many interesting point of views (which are neither right nor wrong).

Especially during politics tutorial today… Out of 24 students in our group, only TWO were from Science – me and my nursing friend! I was extremely impressed by how the non-Science people argued their points and how they were opinionated and bold to voice out.

It was simply mind-blowing.

I wish that Science students can be similar in this aspect too, it will definitely spice things up in school.

I believe they are not passive or reserved, but the question is,

WHAT IS THERE TO ARGUE ABOUT WHEN ALL WE ARE “LEARNING”/READING ARE MERELY HARD-CORE FACTS???

WHAT IS THERE TO THINK ABOUT??? WHEN THERE IS A DEFINITE ANSWER TO EVERY QUESTION.

SCIENCE DULLS ONE’S MIND AND MAKES ONE UNCREATIVE.

IT IS A ONE-WAY LEARNING WHERE TEACHERS TEACH AND STUDENTS LISTEN AND MEMORISE.

However, after all’s been said, of course Science is still extremely important in life. We need the knowledge, especially in healthcare when you’d never know when you could make use that piece of knowledge to actually save a life.

I love learning (but not studying for the mere sake of it). Sometimes I ask the seemingly most ridiculous questions, which people take for granted, just for the mere fun of  intriguing a person or making a fool out of myself.

Why do you pronounce “Soldier” as so-JURE and not so-DIER?

Why are there more guys playing pool than girls? When it’s not even a physically-demanding “sport”.

If the Sikhs are Indians, why don’t they want to be classified as Indians? Their ICs show their “race” as “Sikhs” instead.
(This was a question brought up by my Sikh politics lecturer which I went around asking my friends =P Nobody knows! But I found out eventually on Wiki)

Ok I can’t think of any more questions I asked, these are the most recent ones hahaha. I think I have very nice and accommodating friends :)

 

On a lighter note, it was such a fun night!!! I hardly hang out actually because at the back of my mind, there are always things I know I ought to do. =/

A friend had just gotten his 9-months bonus and so treated a few of us for dinner, pool and supper lol.

 

@ Soupspoon @ Raffles City
My FIRST time! Finally

My incredibly awesome Minestrone!!!
I had just learnt the proper way of pronouncing that… :) It’s actually 4-syllabic.

And his wild mushroom soup thing which I didn’t really like

Chicken wrap thing which I liked! But the salad was the weirdest one ever. This picture is bad.

Pool @ Bugis

I totally suck in pool! So I stopped playing after 3 rounds to spare my poor partners lol…

Then the famous Rochor beancurd!
Awesomeness!

 

Thank God it’s Friday!!!

 

 

p/s: And I wonder why do people like taking pictures of FOOD??? For me, food is a wonderful piece of art! Creative in every aspect – colours, texture, combination, decoration (Garnishes? And inedible salad like the above) and even the thoughtful blending of taste.

What’s there not to love about food! =)

In a very unusual way, I owe what I am to you.
Though at times it appears I won't stay, I never go.
Special to me in my life,
Since the first day that I met you.
How could I ever forget you,
Once you had touched my soul?

- “Unusual Way” in movie “NINE”

 

It says it all.

 

~~~

 

I saw the trailer for “NINE”, it looks like an awesome musical and I WANNA WATCH IT. :)

I woke up at 2pm today after much tossing on the bed, trying to relish the very last moment of sleep.

I have been exhausting my mind recently with school and unnecessary stuff. I think I need another vacation =P

Spent my day playing piano, which is getting really depressing due to my malfunctioned left hand.

My piano teacher has been teaching me music theory for the past 2 months. It’s plain and dry and kinda suck. I don’t really look forward to it now. (Which probably explains why I overslept and totally forgot I had lesson on Thursday)

It’s high time I start practising for my September practical exam on my own. What have I been doing!!!

~~~

“The Jewelled Air” @ The Arts House

Went for a performance tonight with my orchestra’s bassoonist. It was a hassle to find people to go! Everyone I asked (whom I thought would be interested) had something on.

For that reason, I would rather do things alone sometimes. AND I’m nearly anti-social now hahaha.

@ The Living Room before the start of the performance.

We sat at the FIRST row! Lol… So it was reeeally near to the performers.

A chair which speaks. It exudes so much aura, even in this picture haha.

I would love to have the honour to sit there with my cello one fine day. And perform of course lol…

Oboe, bassoon, clarinet and piano.

This was an oboe and bassoon duet with piano accompaniment. I thought that the oboe and bassoon go well together!

Clarinet has a soothing sound which I liked too.

40 minutes into the performance, it dawned upon me that I actually know the bassoonist! –_- She played for our orchestra before and I remember we even had some small talks and I brought some food for her during break.

I’m just bad in recognising faces. =/

All well in the end, the performance was greeeeeeeat. I am surprised I liked it though I’m not a fan of woodwinds =P

I actually teared a little at one part… The joy exuded by the musicians and the sincerity of their music were too touching. =’)

Been hit by the harshness of reality recently… And I thought maybe that’s the world’s way of saying HELLo.

I am staying strong. I have/need/want to.

There is no pausing in life. It drags you along as long as you are alive.

Sometimes I feel like a coconut riding on the waves of life, being tossed about by the circumstances around me.

 

There are many things beyond the boundaries of my control and maybe the only thing I can control is my mind.

I can choose to believe.
I can choose the kind of words I wanna tell myself or say to others.
I can decide to love someone.
To change my attitude…
To renew my mindset.
And maybe… To deceive myself.

And alternatively, the opposite of everything above.

 

I can force myself not to think about it… Some things are so heartbreaking, you wanna just chuck it at the back of your mind, and hope for the best.

I don’t dare to close my eyes, for the things I see in my imagination scare me and make me sad.

It is mentally exhausting, I wish I can sleep instantly.

It’s MONDAY.

The thought of school is overwhelming, so I am just going to take one day at a time.

Since the start of school, I have been having various assorted bad dreams almost every time I sleep. Even in the littlest of sleep.

I wouldn’t call them nightmares, just bad dreams.

 

Such as

1) Swimming as I ‘escorted’ the world’s largest crocodile out into the wild and as doing so, my legs brushed by a fat snake which was something like an Anaconda.

After the crocodile was released, a smaller crocodile bit me on my legs and I woke up.

2) I was at my grandma’s and there were 5 cats in it… I quickly hopped on to a couch and watched as those cats marched by me, looking evil with their slanted eyes.

Suddenly they split into 2 and started growling at each other. Stupid cats. I hate cats.

3) Someone broke my cello. The wood of the back was split. I was hugging it and crying so badly. And I woke up.

4) I accidentally hit a ‘bass’ guitar… It was a guitar which probably is non-existent in reality but in my dreams I perceived it as a bass guitar which had 6 strings and golden pegs.

It was resting on its stand when I knocked it, my cello was resting on its stand beside it. And my first instinct was to save my cello from being hit by the guitar.

Haha, so anyway, the owner of the guitar was just beside me. After I knocked it, all the strings loosened and I looked at him and said “Erm… It’s ok, you can always tighten back the pegs…”

No it’s not ok to him. Haha.

 

~~~

Today must have been the bleakest Sunday ever. I had only ONE face-to-face interaction the entire day.

Went for a different service so I was alone. Happened to sit next to a Philippino (Is that the right spelling?) Neurology nurse and so we talked briefly.

THAT WAS IT.

Came home and resumed watching “Saving Private Ryan” and took a nap. It is a depressing and touching show and Spielberg was absolutely brilliant.

Stupid insomnia.
It screwed up my mind! Hahaha. Ok for once I felt "legitimate" to blame that for it.


Firstly, I didn't know what was in my mind at 5.30am to spur me to set my alarm clock at 10am to ballot for tutorials, which could be done ANYTIME before 3pm. For that redundant effort, I hope I do get the time slots I want!


Secondly, I missed my 12pm lecture cos I thought it started at 2pm! I only knew it when I text a friend at 12.30pm to ask him to help "print notes for later"...

So ta da~ I have broken my new year's resolution (to attend ALL lectures) on the 2nd week.



I didn't feel smart at all in any way.



So, I ended up vacuuming the entire house (it was a good workout) and cooking soup again with the remaining ingredients.

Had a taste of a housewife's life. Haha.....




Had cello lesson in the evening... And throughout we only focused on TWO bars, ie less than 10 notes. But in those 2 bars alone there were many techniques to learn...

There is a mountain of skills I have yet to grasp. Sometimes it gets discouraging. It's like standing on top of the mountain, trying to shovel away the earth beneath you, in an attempt to flatter the mountain.

It is unrealistic and impossible.

Like what my teacher said... It is a never-ending process of learning. No one can say he/she has known everything about the cello.

So we simply have to keep flattening the mountain, till we can dance on it! And keep shoveling till the surface area of flattened earth becomes larger and larger and hence more dancing fun!


Me and my 2.30am analogy. I hope it makes sense! Hahaha.


~~~


Received a phone call from Mum after lesson and she delievered a good and an extremely bad news.

Life has been flatuating. I don't bother letting my guards down anymore. Sometimes, just sometimes, I wish that my life could be a little more "normal" for once.


Whatever the case, I'm praying for the best, knowing that God is in control of every situation. A kind of quiet trust in the midst of turmoil. =)

It's 4:42 in the morning.

I CAN'T SLEEP. There is a great influx of thoughts running through my mind. And I dunno why.


Had a free day and it was great.

Piano lesson was fine, teacher extended 0.5 hours more again and reminded me that I have 7 weeks (= 7 lessons) to exam. 7 seems long so it didn't stir anything in me hahaha.

Being random as I am, I had the urge to cook some soup after lesson? And so I did and was very proud of that hahaha. Dad liked it too! :)

After being happy with my extremely healthy and tasty soup, I went to watch "Did You Hear About The Morgans?" ! Cos a schoolmate treated hahaha. I am so blessed recently! Maybe God knows I get EMO when school starts. Need lots of such surprise therapies. Lol...




















Anyway, the show was hilarious (though the plot was lame)! We were laughing throughout lol... But I dunno why "The Newpaper" only rated 2.5 stars for it. Chey no sense of humour! Whoever that was.



Went for cellgroup and on my way back at about midnight, I witnessed a disgraceful act.

A boyfriend pushed his girlfriend onto the floor right in front of me. And walked away feeling mighty proud.


Wth was wrong with him I do not know, but that was no way to treat a woman.

The girl was on the floor and whimpering. I was in utter shock. Things like that only happen in DRAMAs right??? Stupid naive me.

She stood up and I went over to her... She was wearing an ITE uniform, the same as her bf's. I tried to comfort her and asked her some questions... Found out that they had a quarrel and it was his first time (and I hope it'd be the last.) abusing her like that.

Well, throughout, I had a strong urge to tell her to just break up with that ____. But, who was I to say that? So I didn't and just told her that he shouldn't do that to her. I hope she knows that she deserves to be treated better.

She insisted that I should go home soon, so I hugged her and left, feeling quite helpless about the situation.


What could I have done?


~~

Life has been pretty interesting since the start of school. And it all has NOTHING to do with school! Obviously.

It's 5:22am now and I am still not tired... Suppose to have a lecture and cello lesson later. Sometimes I do not understand myself too. Maybe it's my soup???!!! =) Celery power! Hahaha... -_-

After school yesterday, I was reading a book on my bed beside the radio. It was tuned to Symphony 92.4 since I was in the rare mood for some classicals...

It happened that the DJ was calling for people to call for a pair of concert tickets. So, for the mere thrill of it I called.

To my surprise, it actually rang. And to my utmost surprise, the DJ actually picked up! Hahahaha. I couldn't believe it.

The conversation went like this..


Me: Hallo?
Her: Hi
Me: Is this Symphony 92.4?
Her: Yes, and you are calling for?
Me: (What else duh...) Erm... The concert tickets?
Her: Haha ya, congratulations you're the first caller. Do you know the name of the concert you're calling in for?
Me: Haha! I don't know. (I felt dumb seriously) Erm... Let me think. *......* But I know the pianist's name!
Her: Haha, so what is the pianist's name?
Me: Joel Ma!
Her: Ok for that I will give you the tickets to *the name which I didn't catch again* on 23 January at 8pm.



Lol, then she took down my particulars and I should receive the tickets soon by mail.

It'd be at the Arts House, Living Room.



Looks not bad!

Hahaha.

And I checked. The name of the event is called "The Jewelled Air". It's a reed trio consisting of an Oboe, Bassoon and Clarinet, with pianist Joel NAH (Not Ma! Hahaha. Must be influenced by YoYo-Ma.) And each ticket costs $25.

I'm totally not a fan of woodwinds though... Haha, shall see...


~~~


Went for a nap after the news and practised my cello at night...

Was just practising on the Tenor Clef, still trying to figure out how to sight-read it... And after a few minutes, it was like what my teacher said... I got a REVELATION and as if in a snap of a finger, I could sight-read it there and then!!!

It's amazing. Exhilarating. And totally unexpected.

Previously I had to write the alphabets of the notes one by one above the notes, but now I don't have to!!!

It was like Magic, like my cello was playing some funny tricks on me! I was so darn happy.


Talk about the joy of learning! =)

First day of school!

Nothing special, just that the crowd and noise level were especially high.

Dad picked me up from school at 7.30pm and we went over to his office for a while... It was nice to see a Bible on his desk. =) Over there, you could see me furiously printing out my school notes and stuff. In COLOUR. Hahaha.


Came back and practised on my instruments... Lazed around while reading notes for tomorrow. Quite proud of myself... Hopefully this can last through the semester. Yesss...


Felt bored and practised on cello again... Trying to get a technique right... And just as I THOUGHT I got it... My dad opened my door and told me to stop 'playing'.

Imagine as you are about to sink your teeth into a juicy burger, someone snatch it away and eat it! That was how I felt. =/

I hate my practices to be interrupted.

But I do understand it was already 12.40am. =/

I understand that they don't understand too.


But... I have already mute my cello and I was playing loooong slooooow notes on the Eb major scale!!! Unless it sounded horrible and nightmare-inducing... Sigh.


Anyway, this is nothing new.





Ok, happy with my rant. Going to bed now.

Still up! Trying to relish the final moments of my hardly-there holiday.


Talk about the unpredictability of life...


I left my handphone in the toilet today (2nd time) at the Airport and realised it only about half an hour later. This shows how often I check it.

As expected, it wasn't there anymore when we went over. Throughout the 'ordeal', I swear I was really 'zen' and calm about it. Haha... (Maybe I have lost it too many times??? Ha... Or maybe this couldn't be compared to the damage done to my piano.)

I was just concerned over the pictures in it! My Indonesia and little random pictures which I haven't uploaded due to my malfunctioned laptop...

A friend made numerous calls to my handphone but nobody answered though it was ringing. We couldn't understand, I guess it'd been too long a time that the founder probably had chucked it aside.

So my friend sent a text to my handphone, hoping that the founder would call.


We made our way to a reception counter to fill in a lost report form. This form and reception counter thing never work. Seriously. Most of the time, if people sincerely want to return your phone, they will try ways and means first rather than to surrender it to the receptionist.

As I was filling up the form, my mind was already thinking of all the hassle I would have to go through to get a new phone... And contacts... And of course gone are my lovely pictures.


But well, there is always a twist to a story!

RIGHT after I filled up the form, my friend received a phone call. Not from the founder, but from my DAD! With the good news that my handphone was in safe hands. Thing was, the founder was already in NOVENA...

My dad then went over to the founder's place and retrieved it for me. The founder happened to be a doctor at TTSH... And guess what? He even gave my dad a chocolate cake.

 
Unbelievable. But take that!



Mystery for you to solve: Throughout the entire event, neither me nor my friend had ANY form of interaction with the founder. How did my dad end up calling my friend???

Clue: THINK! It's not that difficult a mystery lol... =)


Unanswered questions
1) Why did the founder take my handphone with him all the way to Novena from the Airport???
2) How did he reach there in such a short amount of time??? (After half an hour, we checked the toilet, filed a report and *Bam* he was in Novena???)


Obviously he drove, but I still can't fathom it. Unless he was in a rush?


I am beginning to think perhaps he's an ANGEL... Haha...

It was just a really strange event altogether. Though I am still rather surreal about it.


But I am really grateful to be back with my phone and the founder made a slightly better impression of doctors for me. =P

Woke up this morning right AFTER a sweet dream. :) Wish my dream come trueee hahaha.

Lunched alone @ JP and played a bit of piano before heading to the pooool. For a moment I wondered why was I the only female there, then I realised cos I was in SAFRA... Lol.

Highlight of the day was probably my cello lesson!

Teacher commented that I have improved much since the last lesson (which was in Nov). :) So that's good news. :)


I have to attribute it to the "Eb Major scale" which I am currently addicted to and those previous circumstances which, in a way, "urged" me to practise as a form of outlet.

Emo nights are best to practise the cello.

At least something good came out of it.


Of cos I have some bad habits to get rid of and improve... PATIENT PRACTICES. Don't pretend you don't know it's wrong. Don't assume you can get it right 'somehow' the next time! Pay attention to every sound you make. Keep reminding yourself until it becomes second nature!

A good musician doesn't require the teacher to always keep a lookout.


Some of the things I learnt today. =)

Nice slow day. The kind you feel you have all the time in the world. :)

I woke up especially early at 10.30am for my 11am piano lesson after being away for 1 month. Teacher is now preparing me for my theory exam in March... So it's all plain boring stuff.

She taught me for half an hour more today, I could see that she was trying to complete as much as possible since I have a lot more to catch up. I think I'm too chill..... I need some sense of urgency haha.


My day was otherwise spent mostly in my room practising/playing my instruments... And idling away while trying to do some theory papers... Days like that hardly come by and I really like it. :)

School is starting next week. It will last for about 16 weeks? Followed by a 6-week attachment.


I am dreading it and it's easy to know why...

It is energy-consuming and at the end of it all, produces so little outcome. In this span of 3 months, we have to cram in 5 modules. This is quantity over quality. That's probably the reason why a lot of us don't remember the things we studied... Because we're only doing so for the _____ sake of exams?

Would you choose a module which is easy to score, lest you lose out to your peers, or one which you are geniunely interested in?

Or worse, choose something you have already learnt previously in whichever school you came from. -_-

Is everyone just going through the motion?



I always feel I have better things to do when I am in school.

That being said, it could jolly well just be me and my bad attitude. Haaaahaa.




On the other hand, I am comtemplating whether to return to NUSSO (Symphony Orchestra)???

Pros
1) Maaaannnnyyyy more instruments to play with
2) Will definitely stretch my capacity due to the difficulty level (Then I'll probably feel bad about myself or rather my skills)
3) Convenience. It's in school!

Cons
1) Refer to 2. It's a tough mental battle...
2) Practise day and time clash with my church orchestra's... And already there're barely 3 cellists.


Shall see...

Finally watched 3D "Avatar" today! I'm very curious as to how this 3D effect actually work and why are the spectacle lens red! My friend said it is due to some light frequency trick??? Damage to one spectacle will cause you a hefty $85, which amounts to almost $100 for a movie! Haha.

(Some spoiler ahead... =P)

Anyway, my favourite part of the movie was when crippled Jake first became an avatar and started running, so fast and carelessly.

In our minds, there are no boundaries. We become who we truly want to become and appear in places we've always wanted to be.

Best of all, nobody knows. And thus no one can ridicule or bring you down.

Who would have known that Jake would later become THE hero of Pandora???

(Oh by the way, I love the scenary at Pandora!!! Though it is highly fictional.)


In my opinion, "Avatar" is more than merely how human's selfishness lead to massive destruction, it is about the power of one's thoughts.

Think about it :)


~~~



I'm still mulling over what pastor said last service... That "time is in God's hands". That although we have received a vision from God, it is ultimately still up to Him when it is going to be realised. For eg: At 85, God told Abraham that he was going to have a son. However, it wasn't until 15 years later that this actually came to past.

I guess we just have to be patient and keep believing in His promises. After all, God knows what/who/when is best for you! :)



8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so my ways are higher than your ways
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9

Glad to be back @ church after missing last week's service. Just 1 service and I feel like I had been away for so long! Haha.

Happy to be praising and worshipping God with MengChing, being touched by the love of God together. It was awesome... Truly, a day in the House of God is better than a thousand days in the world! :)



Anyway, I have been crying every day since I returned. Some things are too much to bear. Unreasonable requests and unfair treatments. Most of the time I am the one giving in, resorting to my own room in the company of my precious posessions. I don't see any point in mindless arguments which will eventually lead to a futile ending anyway.


Been practising much cello lately, I guess distance (literally) makes the heart grow fonder. :) I was practising on my bed today and it was so convenient to just lie back for a rest. I did that and actually fell asleep! With my cello still between my legs lol... Thankfully it didn't fall off, otherwise that'd be another tragedy. Boo.



And yes, I did play on my piano today. It was still heartbreaking to see the damage. Thankfully it is at the side, so I won't see it if I make a conscious effort not to. I am probably in the "denial" stage now. =P Didn't play much, just some worship songs...

After this incident, the statement "The world can take everything away from me but God is mine forever." becomes more real.

I thank God for keeping me rather composed and rational in such a time. I dunno, it must have been divine intervention. =P



Well, leaving you with the verse of the day!

So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:18

Had a rocky start to the year.


Part of my piano was ripped apart. How is that possible? Beats me. But damn it.

That's one of the most cruel thing a person can do to me.

It takes an insane person to do so.



Anyway, I have grieved over it and is now in a speechless state. I don't even bear to look at my piano. It's too heartbreaking. Little wooden shavings are still lying on the piano lid.

I don't even dare to play on it now. Who knows how it would sound??? Though it looks unaffected, I don't wanna receive another blow as yet, just in case. Maybe tomorrow.


Due to this incident, I finally took out my cello and practised on some scales. It was quite fun, I like how my cello sounds. :)



~~~


Dear God,
Thank You for blessing me with a piano and cello. Please protect both of them. You know how much they mean to me. Please take away every negative emotions and thoughts, and teach me how to forgive like how You have forgiven me time and time again for the stupid things I said and did.

In Jesus' name I pray,
AMEN.

Back from Indonesia!

Stepped out of the plane at 11pm and managed to catch the last train @ Changi Airport at 11.22pm and the 2nd last train @ Tanah Merah. PTL! :)

(This shows how efficient Singapore's airline management is =P)


You should have seen how I ran, while lugging my luggage... It was a FEAT. :)

But not the glam-est thing to do upon landing. Hahaha.



Trip was awesome!
Lots of FOOOOOD and laughter lol.

Touched by the warm hospitality and generosity of Sofi and her family and Pastor Anton and family (My previous hosts). Everything was so well taken care of... I couldn't ask for more. Thank God for the blessing =') Really appreciate it all and wish I had more to offer... :(




So now I'm back home, and it's New Year's Eve. People have been talking about their resolutions and I haven't even given a thought about 2010 and the things I wanna achieve.

I go to school and it's all _____ planned out right.


I am going to obtain my Grade 6 music theory, Grade 7 piano, get through 2 _____ semesters, some periods of attachment, some performances... Maybe start kicking up my dream somehow.

Sometimes it's depressing being trapped in my tiny world, being so self-absorbed and caught up in my own ambitions.

I believe there's so much more to life than this.


But it's daunting just thinking about 2010.

Had a wonderful night with Cai and Steph @ Orchard! Hahaha. Loving my holidays! :)

Will be flying off later to Medan with Gary and meeting Sofi @ the airport there. We will fatten ourselves up and return with more of ourselves to love! Hahaha.

Wish I could spend Christmas here though... What is Christmas without going to church!!! :(

Then again, there isn't much of a holiday if I spend it in Singapore. Somehow, there's always things I have to do.



Well, till then, may your holiday be filled with loveee and joyyy! Merry Christmas! :)

It's 4.15am.

And I'm up just because. =P

Reading up about music in hospitals... I think about my dream constantly, sometimes the enormity of it brings tears to my eyes. I know it is possible if I want to make it happen.

I just had an idea and I think it's pretty cool. Wiu! Gotta seek some advice first~ And I'm gonna email my orchestra ic right NOW... Lol. Some things I don't procrastinate haha.

I'm so excited to see God's plan slowly unfolding itself!


Hope to see the manifestation of my dream within the next 5 years.

It's all for His glory.
For I am nothing without His grace.

Had a great time @ home today! Just chilling and practising on my instruments. :)

Simple pleasures of life :)


~~~



"If this feeling is not from You, please take it away!
What am I suppose to do with it???"

I've made this prayer before, and the amazing thing was, the very next day, the liking feeling was gone. It happened twice.

But this time, it's been with me for the longest time (I mean it). I can't shake it away though I tried. What more can I do?

Yay done with attachment.
Considering if I should take up sponsorship from NUH...
If so, I'll have $950/month but will be bonded for 2 ____ years.


My life's too unpredictable to do so man... 1 year of bond will be just fine. So maybe I should just wait till my third year to be sponsored IF it's still possible.

By the time I graduate from NUS, I'd have completed my Grade 8 piano (hopefully) and going on to Diploma... That's my plan for now, don't know if I can manage.


~~~


It was an emo Saturday, a leave-me-alone day.

Had 2 performances, 1 @ EXPO and the other @ Jurong West.

We played Handel's "For Unto Us A Child Is Born" with the choir.

I was real happy about the performance @ JW. Honestly, I have never felt so happy about our performances thus far except for today's.

Our conductor gave thumbs-up for the choir after performance on stage and I was beaming with joy seeing him so happy. Wish I could freeze the moment.


After which I went back to being emo.

Expo's was fine but I thought the entire place was too big that we sounded kinda 'empty'.

Anyway, 2 more performances later, a dinner and it's holiday officially. :)

Yipee, attachment will end tmr!!!

It's such a relief to know that.


We need our holidays! The rest of NUS are probably already bored of theirs?




Oh by the way, my tolerance for ill-mannered people is floor low. What's wrong with them? One encounter with such people, will automatically put them on my blacklist. The magic words "Please" and "Thank you" have been taught since we were little kids, that shows how important they are.

Sacarsm, when used for obvious 'harmless' fun, can be real funny. However, when used without the tiniest hint of humour, is just plain annoying. Stop it. Those people will immediately be keyed into my blacklist too and will be avoided at all cost.

For example. An incident today...

Me: Is there any insulin injection to be given later?
Staff nurse: *Silent*
Me: (Did she hear me or not?)
Me: *Repeated the question*
Staff nurse: *glare* I am serving medication now.
Me: (What the hell) Ok fine.


Yes, by right, staff nurses who are serving medications have the right not to be 'disturbed'. But seriously, she could have just ______ answer a monosyllabic 'yes' or a 'no' instead of the 9-syllabic answer which doesn't answer to my question in any way.

Such is the life of a nursing student. Damn.




It doesn't matter if we're their juniors or that they are our seniors, it's a matter of their stupid attitude which needs to be addressed. (But I just can't be bothered with these people) So, I hope to be more vocal next time, if I care enough to.

I mean, there's nothing to be afraid of if your conscience is clear and you're doing so not out of disrepecting them but to genuinely *ahem* want them to better themselves. If they have a pride issue, then that's another story.




Day was otherwise all well. :)
Lots of FOOD and laughter from morn till night! :)
I'm so looking forward to 9pm. FINAL LAP.
No drama please.

Watched a concert @ Esplanade earlier by the Orchestra of the Music Makers and the Western Australia Youth Orchestra in which a friend was performing in. Over there, I saw a few other friends performing in it.

I could only watch from afar...

I mean, without discipline and determination, what's there to talk about right?



Furthermore, all these nursing and school stuff are enough to congest my mind. I went home after work today and didn't even touch my piano. Or even wanted to.

Managed to change my shift from Saturday to Tuesday (today) which is supposed to be my day off. So I'll be on a 6-day nursing marathon. And every day has its own drama and challenges!

Really need God's grace to see me through... I know I'm more than a conqueror in Christ! :)

Oh and I gave my first injection today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing went wrong. Congrats!

I had to give 2 injections simultaneously on the same patient. One was just a fineeee needle and the other was thicker. It was kinda hard poking through using the thick needle and 0.0 the injection site bled. Patient had "no feelings" though. So all well.




Will be performing for all 4 services this weekend too, which means travelling to and fro Jurong West and Expo. This is probably the craziest of weeks. And it's only Monday.........


Holiday plans look good though.
Work hard and play hardER! Heh heh.

Friday was probably the most dramatic day of my life.


It started off like any other day, woke up at 6:10am, excited to go to the hospital.

Never did I know that I would be the last person a patient would talk to. And her last words would be that she wanted to die to end her suffering.

A nurse saw her foaming in the mouth about 5 minutes after she told me that, and pressed for "Code Blue" when she couldn't feel her pulse. Many doctors and nurses rushed to her bed. It was a total chaos. A nurse was furiously pumping her chest.

I was traumatized.

Prior to that, I had been by her side, talking to her in my limited Hokkien as I saw that her breakfast was untouched. It was a monologue as she was grunting all along.

Finally, she complained of nausea and wanted me to bring her a bag. So I did, and highlighted to the staff nurse about it.

I continued staying by her side until I had to do something else. The next thing I knew, she passed on.


She gave up living. Just like that.

Could this happen if I had stayed longer with her?


I had assumed that those words about wanting to die was said out of frustration, as we often use the word "die" so casually. I didn't know that a person can die just by deciding he/she wants to. Is it all in the mind???

It intrigued me to think about the human willpower. How can one actually buy time when death is presented in front of one's face? Never underestimate the power of one thought.



~~~



After work, I went over to the School of Business for a 15-minute survey of which I earned $10 hehehe.

At the bus-stop on the way back, a stranger approached me for direction of which I wasn't of much help. But that led us to talk about us. :) She was from America and an ex-NUS student studying about Policy and is now working with MOH as a policy maker.

Then she asked about me, what am I doing blabla and was very surprised and elated that I'm taking Nursing in NUS. She went 0.0

After which I found that she was a nurse back in America and is currently taking her PhD in Nursing here. I went 0.0

She told me that in 1989, she had proposed to implement advanced study in Nursing in Singapore as she believed that Nursing is more than just technical work. However, back then, our government wasn't receptive to that yet.

So, it took them over a decade to actually realise or do something about it.

We have her to thank for sowing a little seed. :)


We could have blabber on further about nursing, about our plans, I mean what is the probability of the both of us meeting in NUS School of Business on a Friday afternoon during the holidays??? :)

But her bus came and we didn't have time to exchange numbers. She asked for my name again and said that she'll check up the directory. I don't know how she is going to do so, but I hope she does contact me somehow!



What a beautiful encounter! :)

Day off! :)

Last 2 days @ NUH were great. I was assigned to 2 itchy scratcy patients. One has chicken pox-like signs and another has body rash all over (probably due to lymphoma). We are now waiting for the results of diagnosis.

Of course I have my own concerns and apprehension since we wouldn't know as yet if the diseases are contagious. Whatever it is, I think to be professional means not letting those stand in our way to providing the best nursing care.




Anywayyy...




I watched "2012" last night @ Vivo hahaha. It's awesome!!! I love the dramatic effects. It's both thrilling and amusing. :) Oh and slightly touching.

Go watch it before it is no longer in the theatres! It requires cinematic effects for total enjoyment lol...



Ok till then!

End of my little pseudo holiday~


Friday - Stayed over at Jeff's :)
Saturday - Town with best friend! :)
Sunday - Concert with Sofi and Leon :)


Quite sociable, not bad lol...

Wish I could post the pics! But I have to go through my lappie which is currently in a comatose state.

~~~



Well, the 3 of us had a little discussion over dinner after the concert, regarding matters of the HEART. :)

Don't you think relationship issues are so complex? There are so much ambiguity, greyness and unspoken rules to abide to. It makes dumb even the most intelligent.

You know all those crap we question in our heads?

If he does this or say that, does that mean _____??? (Classic)
What if he doesn't like me?!
Dear God, if he's THE ONE then ____.



And you analyse and discuss with your girlfriends, guy friends and yourself. To stop those bothersome thoughts, you find ways and means to convince yourself that he doesn't like you because he doesn't do 1.____ 2._____ 3._____ .

And so you concluded that he doesn't like you. Good.

But that stubborn feeling still clings on to you like a sloth to a tree! Bad.

And you wish he could just tell you directly if 1. He likes you. or 2. He doesn't.

However, it means that prior to that, you have to CONFESS your feelings to him, which being an innately shy girl (like me), will never buckle up enough courage to do such a thing.

Hence, at the end of the day, when the sun sets and the cows go home, you are still left hanging.


~ The (not-so-happy) End ~




Due to my inexperience on this matter *ahem*, this is all I can say hahaha


~~~



Ok, ATTACHMENT TIME @ NUH in a few hours.

I can't predict what will happen in the ward. Never will.

But I am going to be the best nurse I know how... :)

@ Jeff's guest room


Here I am, awake at 4am while chilling to Alison Krauss, thinking about my plans for next week and basically just relishing in the luxury of wasting time.

My body clock has screwed up. Lol... This is what happens after exams and during holidays. Mornings are non-existent.

Well, I think this is good training to be a nurse - to mess up your body clock as much as possible hahaha.


Sometimes I wonder if I will be a good nurse in future. Having a degree doesn't mean much, it only allows a headstart. It puts you in a better position initially. What you do with what you have is what matters after.

My ultimate vision is to introduce music into local hospitals. I don't know how is that possible, but I'm gonna start it somehow...





Music is really powerful I think. It has the ability to change the entire atmosphere. Stale air suddenly has life and energy in it. So, hopefully my patients will somehow get better.

I looked at my patients and think it'd be so boring for them to lie on the bed all day, so it's good to have some entertainment too.

Musicians need to have a little more human touch as well. So it's a win-win situation.


Perfect.

We shall see what happens 5 years down the road.



~~~


Stuff like that often run through my mind.

Cos they are real nagging thoughts.

Like how I couldn't run away from thoughts calling me to be a nurse, though it's never my childhood dream. But until I address it, they will never cease haunting me.


Just like practising my instruments.

I am reminded of it day in and out.




And him...
Ok nvm...

And now exams are over.
Good for me, I hate exams.

Even more so when you hear teachers saying things like "We do not want to fail you cos we have to write a lot to justify why you should fail."

Seems like everyone just wanna get over and done with.


~~~

So, with my free time, my new hobbies include solving sudoku puzzles :) and reading.

Current book is "A Beautiful Mind" which talks about the life of John Nash, a superbly intelligent but socially awkward mathematician, who happpens to hate studying secondhand information.

So in a way I have a little of his trait, not bad hahaha.

I'm referring to Science especially.


Aren't they all merely hypothesis waiting to be proven wrong?

In fact, there is no such thing as a fact.

Think about it.


~~~


Anyway, enough of those...
I wanna talk about DISNEY!!!! :)




Recently, I came across a comment which disturbed me.

Someone said that "Disney is a lie."

In defend of my all-time favourite and the one who makes the world a lot happier - Mr Disney, I would like to refute that statement. :)


Firstly, if you don't already know, Disney is fictional. Cartoons? Fiction.

You don't actually see flying carpets and fairy godmother. The very thing people love Disney for - his unrestricted careless imagination and boundless creativity.

True, there is always a happy ending but isn't it the same for most movies? And isn't it how most people would like?





Disney depicts dreamy fairytale love stories which would probably cause delusion in some people. Then again, it is fictional..... And you notice how the stories always end just after a couple gets married? Lol.

In my opinion, to think that Disney is a lie, is to put oneself in the shoes of the characters and live in that make-believe world, only to realise it does not happen in reality.

And you get all upset, blaming Disney for LYING and deceiving generations of kids.


It is good to be remember that Disney is created for entertainment purposes. And just appreciate the colours, humour and fun!


I loveee Disney!!!! :)!